Loving our (DIfficult) Neighbour

It's always a challenge to love our neighbour and it helps to have a set of internal motivators to keep us on track when all we wanna do is yell/maim/smack/tick off the other person. :) Love is the theory, Practical how?

When Person is Being Difficult, try these on the spot tactics:

1) Truth is your greatest weapons to disarm the Person. Lead the person to see you are just concerned about getting to the truth of the situation

2)Deliberately slow down your speech so that your words are deliberate and measured rather than fast and furious. Give time for yourself to weigh out your reactions before you answer back. Do not do the quick retort - it always comes out crap.

3) A well-considered response requires time and more information to craft, so keep asking the person leading questions to buy you both. Never assume you know everything about why the other person is acting up the way they do. Always humble yourself that way.

4) If you are easily angered, tell the person you need some time to cool off because you are not interested in fighting or causing Person to be unneccessarily hurt or angered. Walk away and some back as soon as you can to finish up what you left unresolved. NEVER walk away without explaining why you are doing so.

5) If you were in the right, be humble. If you were in the wrong, be humble. Neither situations require you to use volume, speed, wit or verbosity to make your point.

6) Always be prepared to apologise. Chances are, there is something for you to apologise about even if you were in the right. Do not apologise for things you have clearly NOT DONE - after all we are all committed to the Truth here right? Apologise perhaps for the way you said things, or the attitudes within you etc. etc. but do not apologise for apolosigising sake or to simply please the other person. You apologise because there are things to be apologised for.

7) Always make amends as soon as possible...your minimum time is as soon as the quarrel begins and your maximum time is by the end of the day. "Never go to bed angry" is not just advice for marrieds! :)

8) Situations where righteous anger is justified are rather rare. Even if the situation allows you to justifiably be angry, choose to bite down words you may regret.


And of course, the long term tactics are
1) pray pray pray pray pray
2) lean on His strength and His understanding that YOU (and the other person) can change
3) share with accountability partner whom you can trust not to gossip about or be judgemental of Difficult Person.
4) read God's word regularly, memorise verses about Love and Grace. Trust me, the verses will recur in your mind when you most need them